Life in Kitty-Vision

Six months.

Six months have passed since I lost the most important part of my life. In a lot of ways, it's almost impossible to believe that it's already been six months. In a lot of other ways, that six months feels like an entire lifetime, and in a lot of ways, it has been.

I've made changes. Lots of changes, most of which were intended to help preserve my sanity. I've painted, rearranged, and decluttered. I said goodbye to both of our beloved dogs and sent them out into the world to begin new lives with new families. I've traveled, I've gotten out and done things that I didn't even know existed. I've learned to enjoy living alone for the first time in my life, to the point where I don't know that I can see myself ever wanting to share my living space with anyone else again. I've made new friends, and I've reconnected with long-lost friends, and I've strengthened my relationships with existing friends. (And oh, I can't possibly say enough about how much my friends and family have helped me through this. I honestly don't know if I would have survived without some of these wonderful people.) All in all, I've taken the first (and most important) steps toward beginning a new life. 

It hasn't always been easy. I don't know that it ever will be easy. I still cry every single day, and I honestly can't picture having a day when I don't. And really, that's okay with me. Todd deserves to be remembered, and to be mourned. I don't cry for me, I cry for him. I cry for all of the things he's missing, and all the exciting things that I want to share with him. I cry for all of the people who miss him and need him so very, very much. I cry because the world is a darker and emptier place without him in it.

In the end, I'd still do it all over again. Falling in love with Todd was the smartest thing I've ever done in my life, and I don't regret a minute of the twelve years we spent together. That's not to say that he was perfect, or that we were always happy. Both of those statements would be untrue, and I refuse to do our relationship the injustice of reducing it to a fairy tale, and the reality was so much better than that.

So, yes. Six months have passed, and I'm still here. I'm still getting up every morning, and finding something to be grateful for every day. Every morning I choose to move forward, and to find pieces of happiness where I can. I lost a large piece of myself on that fateful day, but every day, a different me continues to grow. I'll never be the person I was before I met him, and I'll never be the person I was when I was with him. The person I'm going to become, though, I kind of think that I like her, and I'm pretty sure that she's going to be just fine.

Remembering Todd

If you are reading this, it's most likely because you are a part of our life, so I expect that you already know most of what I'm about to say, but I'm a summary type of gal, so a summary you shall get.

On the morning of May 31, 2010, my wonderful husband Todd passed away as the result of a heart attack.  He was 31 years old.  There are no words to express exactly how thoroughly my life was devastated on that day, so I'm not going to even try.  Maybe someday, but not now.  The purpose of this post is simply to share as many of the materials used during his service as possible, for those individuals who were unable to join us in celebrating his life.  It was a sad day, but there were still plenty of smiles and lots of laughter.  That's what Todd would have wanted, and I think that we did a reasonably good job of obliging his request.

View his obituary, and the video tribute featuring photos of Todd Here, at the Krause Funeral Home website 

Listen to the playlist of music (pulled from his iPod) played during the visitation: Here, on playlist.com 

View (and download) the service program distributed before the service: Here, on Google Docs

View (and download) the Presider's notes from the service: Here, on Google Docs

You can view (and download) the custom Magic card created by our friend Tyler, and then professionally printed by a collaboration between our friend Dale and business partner, John: Here, on Google Docs 

The service was beautiful, and thanks to a stroke of luck and some quick thinking from my parents, were were fortunate enough to have a bagpiper in full uniform play for the service.  He did an amazing job, and played Highland Cathedral and Amazing Grace, in addition to one or two other songs that I can't recall.

The pallbearers for the occasion included Todd's brother, Evan, as well as our good friends, Matt, Steve, Andy, Ben, Dale, Kurt, and Shawn.

Fittingly enough, his exit was quite unique, too.  Despite the downpour that started just as the service ended (also quite fitting, really), he was transported from the funeral home to the crematorium courtesy of a custom  Harley hearse.  Here's the last picture that will ever be taken of the love of my life:

Losing Todd is the hardest thing I've ever been through.  I will never be the same, and I am absolutely certain that I will miss him every single day for the rest of my life, but it would be a dishonor to his memory if I didn't find some way to be happy again.  So I will.  For him, and for me. 

Thank you for caring, and for all of the support you've sent to me and the rest of Todd's family throughout his life, and now that he's gone.  I truly believe that we are all better for having had him in our lives. 

The Diet Coke (Without Lime) of a Decade of Aural Orgasms

So, when I was trying to decide which songs to actually include on my list, I went through a long, very painful revision and pare down process.  Somewhere along the line, I stopped actually deleting entries, and just moved them further down my spreadsheet.   Since they are already in a nice convenient format to simply cut and paste, I figure that I may as well go ahead and post them, just in case anyone actually gives a flying you-know-what. 

Don't feel obligated to listen to all (or any, for that matter) of them, unless you're really that bored and desperate for new music.  :)

CUT: A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

CUT: AFI - Prelude 12/21

CUT: ATB - Long Way Home

CUT: Ben Jelen - Wreckage

CUT: Beth Hart - LA Song

CUT: Blind Pilot - The Bitter End

CUT: Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

CUT: Carly Commando - Every Day

CUT: Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry

CUT: Crazy Town - Buttefly

CUT: Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - The Beat That My Heart Skipped

CUT: David Fonseca - Kiss Me Oh Kiss Me

CUT: Dead Celebrity Status - We Fall We Fall

CUT: Dido - Life for Rent

CUT: Dishwalla - Collide

CUT: Fatboy Slim - Weapon of Choice

CUT: Flogging Molly - Within a Mile of Home

CUT: Frou Frou - Must be Dreaming

CUT: Greenskeepers - Lotion

CUT: Howie Day - Collide

CUT: I Monster - Heaven is Beside You

CUT: India Arie - Ready for Love

CUT: Jenny Owen Youngs - Fuck Was I

CUT: Joshua Radin - Closer

CUT: Kim Richey - Girl in a Car

CUT: Live - Deep Enough

CUT: Longwave - Everywhere You Turn

CUT: Los Campesinos - You! Me! Dancing

CUT: Ludo - Love Me Dead

CUT: Matchbox 20 - Rest Stop

CUT: Mellowdrone - Fuck It Man

CUT: Mickey Avalon - Waiting to Die

CUT: Moby - Slipping Away

CUT: Nightmare of You - I Want to be Buried in Your Backyard

CUT: OK Go - A Million Ways

CUT: Patrick Wolf - Hard Times

CUT: Pigeon Detectives - I'm Not Sorry

CUT: Planet Smashers - Wish I Were American

CUT: Portishead - Machine Gun

CUT: Relient K - Deathbed

CUT: Seether - Driven Under

CUT: Sick Puppies - All the Same

CUT: Sugarcult - Los Angeles

CUT: Swollen Members - The Bottom Line

CUT: The Fray - Look After You

CUT: The Gossip - Coal to Diamonds

CUT: The Offspring - Hit That

CUT: The Shins - Australia

CUT: Turin Brakes - Underdog (Save Me)

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (1-20)

Well, this is it...the end.  A million thanks to all of you who have read through my rambling, even more to the few who have commented, and a special thanks to Trey, who gave me the bright idea to tackle this project in the first place.

I don't claim to be a musical genius.  I don't insist that everything I listen to is great music, in fact, some of it is pure and utter rubbish.  I don't expect you to agree with my selections, and frankly, I don't really care if you do.  The beauty of music is that there is something out there for everyone.  Every band in existence is somebody's favorite band, even if that someone is only the drummer's mom. 

I don't believe that music has to be popular to be good, nor do I believe that popular music is automatically bad.  I try really hard to not be negative towards bands I don't like, but I don't always succeed in that goal.  Just because it doesn't appeal to me doesn't mean that it shouldn't appeal to you, or to anyone else in the world.  Every artist out there is putting him/herself out there, subjecting themselves to the world's critique, and hoping that people will be gentle.  I respect that. 

Anyway, I'm done babbling, for now.  Sometime over the next few days, I will make one final post on this subject, containing links to a massive cornucopia of songs that survived my first two cuts, but ultimately didn't make the final list.  Do with it what you will.  Without further ado, here are the songs that help me get out of bed in the morning, that inspire me to think, or to dance, or to cry, or maybe just to smile, when I'm having a bad day.  These are the songs that I FEEL, the songs I would be devastated to live without, and the songs that will be part of my life forever:

20: The Gaslight Anthem - Great Expectations - "I saw tail lights last night in a dream about my old life. Everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn't you?" When I first heard The Gaslight Anthem, my first thought was "wow, this is what it would sound like if you threw Bruce Springsteen and the Killers together in a blender!". On some of their songs, that comparison is more accurate than others, but I love all of their work.

19: The Killers - Mr. Brightside - Speaking of the Killers, of course they had to be included on my list. I have to admit that I haven't been quite as impressed with most of their newer material, but Hot Fuss occupied a fairly permanent position in my cd player for quite a while.

18: Band of Horses - The Funeral - Band of Horses amazes me whenever I listen to them. Someday, I will see them live, and will hopefully not be too distracted by how goofy looking Ben Bridwell is. Normally, once a song has been licensed for more than one commercial or tv show (that I actually see, which makes life easier, since it's unlikely that I see more than two commercials per week, thanks to my obsessive DVR usage), I tire of it very quickly. I can think of at least three commercial uses of this one, and I seem to remember there being many more, but yet I love it enough that it's on the "Kitty Only" cd that permanently occupies slot 6 in Caprica's cd changer.

17: OPM - Heaven is a Halfpipe - I'm not a skater. I'm also not a religious person. Still, this song makes me tap my toes and smile whenever I hear it. Which I do, very, very often, since Todd likes it almost as much as I do. :)

16: Kings of Leon - Manhattan - I'll admit that I somehow completely missed the Kings of Leon train in the beginning, so I'm one of the later-generation fans that all the hip people roll their eyes at. That can't be helped, I guess, and I'm just glad that I DID eventually run into them. I like most of their songs, but the bass line in this one sets it a few steps above the rest for me.

15: Cold - No One - Until Scooter Ward got happy or found prozac, or whatever it is he did, I loved everything Cold touched. His voice is so unique, and I find something I can relate to in almost all of their songs.

14: Jay Brannan - Can't Have it All - "Do you want a lover, or do you want a life? One hand or the other, the butter or the bread knife? Do you choose winter, spring, summer, or fall? It's driving me crazy that i can't have it all..." For mellow moods, Jay is one of my very favorite artists. His voice is absolutely beautiful, and his lyrics are the perfect mix of poignant and humorous. Not to mention, he seems like an awesome guy, too! When he's not too busy, he streams a live performance weekly from his apartment, during which he answers fan questions and indulges fan requests. (I almost died laughing the first time he started doing Mmm Bop!) I wish the world would wake up and give him the recognition he deserves.

13: Flobots - Rise - I have very strong political opinions, but I'm also not horribly outspoken about them. I'm often not a huge fan of supposedly "political" artists, but I'm not mortally opposed to political messages sneaking their way into my music, unless those opinions horribly piss me off. (FYI, I'm a Libertarian, but I've been known to vote for both Democrats and Republicans, if I agree with enough of their individual views and don't consider them to be huge douchebags, but that's beside the point.) Most Flobots songs definitely throw their views in your face. In some cases, it can get to be a little bit too much. I think a lot of the reason I like Rise so much is that it's not quite so POLITICAL, but more SOCIAL. It's inspiring, it's uplifting, it features a viola, and I don't think there are too many people who would really disagree with much they have to say in it. You don't have to be a left-wing commie to think that it's important for people to stand up for what they believe in, and to make an effort to improve the world. You don't have to be a tree-hugging hippie to think that peace is better than war. I'd like to think that most (sane) people, regardless of ethnicity, political affiliation, socioeconomic status, or physical location want these things.

12: Kasabian - L.S.F. (Lost Souls Forever) - Again, picking a Kasabian song was pretty tough, because there seriously isn't a Kasabian song I don't love. L.S.F. just has such an awesome groove that I can't pass it up. (As a piece of extra trivia, it's one of my ringtones on my phone.)

11: IAMX - The Negative Sex - Chris Corner is just plain freaking amazing. I love his voice, I love his weird sense of style, and I love his music. This song gets me in the mood, and you all KNOW that Kitty likes to be in the mood.

10: Muse - Hysteria - Picking a Muse song to listen to is like choosing a Godiva chocolate...you just can't go wrong. Matt Bellamy is an incredible pianist, which goes a long way towards making most of their songs fall into the top of my list. Hysteria doesn't include that element of their allure, but it does have an absolutely unmatchable bass line and a killer guitar solo, so it won the battle.

9: Snow Patrol - It's Beginning to Get to Me - "You are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense..." - That particular snippet is one of my very favorite lyrics, ever. This song just makes me breathless. In a very good way.

8: Biffy Clyro - Born on a Horse - Biffy Clyro has an amazing habit of creating incredible songs that have nearly nonsensical lyrics. I love so many of their songs, I almost find it hard to believe that I selected one of their songs that has been out for less than two months to spotlight. I find it even more unlikely that I'd pick said song, only out for a couple of short months, and choose to rank it SO FREAKING HIGH on my list. Still, here it is, and I don't regret my decision in the slightest.

7: Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot - The Flaming Lips are fairly hit or miss for me, but this whole album was a definite hit. Oh, how I wish this song (and Fight Test) had been released back when I was a wild and crazy college kid, because I can just imagine how many less than sober evenings I would have spent with a group of friends, singing along under the black lights.

6: David Gray - Please Forgive Me - David Gray is an amazingly prolific songwriter, and incredibly enough, he has VERY little crap in his catalog. I'm generally more inclined to listen to his acoustic, super-mellow songs, but this track is always a bit uplifting, and manages to blend beautiful lyrics, a memorable beat, and some lovely piano accompaniment into a perfect little burrito of awesomeness. (Another piece of bonus trivia...David Gray's Sail Away was the first song Todd and I danced to at our wedding. The runners up were Mazzy Star's Fade Into You and Bob Marley's Turn Your Lights Down Low.)

5: Authority Zero - Find Your Way - When I need to get motivated, this song is the first thing that comes to mind. This song is about believing in yourself, about being willing to pick yourself up and dust yourself off when the world crumbles around you, about never giving up. We don't always know what life has in store for us, and we don't always know where we'll be tomorrow, but we don't have to. That's the beauty of life...it's unpredictable!(NOTE: According to the band, this song is about boozing, but I don't buy it...)

4: Plushgun - Just Impolite - "I walk the line like Johnny Cash..." Plushgun is another one of those bands that I keep trying to pimp mercilessly to everyone I meet, and generally get nothing more than indulgent shrugs. Is it because I choose friends with completely different musical taste than I have, or do I just have really bizarre taste in music? I don't know, but I DO know that Plushgun is one of those bands I can never get sick of, and this song has been stuck in my head for weeks at a time, in the past. I sincerely hope that it gets stuck in yours, in a good way.

3: Placebo - Black-Eyed - Picking a Placebo song, especially with two whole albums out of the running, was next to impossible. Most people who know me would have expected Placebo to be #1 on my list. I kind of expected the same, but once I had actually decided on a song, that's not where the pieces landed. Some may suggest that I picked this song simply because it contains the line "forever biting on your nuts". I assure you, that's not true! As much as I adore testicular references in my music, the song would still have my complete adulation without it. And oooh, Steve's drum rolls in this song are pure perfection!

2: James - Waterfall - "Don’t take a phone company to tell you life’s pay as you go. I wonder how much of life is set up in utero..." The failure of the U.S. music scene to fully embrace the soft, chewy goodness that is James devastates me more than almost any other phenomenon. James has been one of my favorite artists for more than half of my life. When they broke up, I thought my world was ending. When they got back together, I was skeptical. When the new album was actually released, I was in heaven. This song combines most of my favorite elements of their music, and has a great message, too.

1: Eels - Fresh Feeling - And...we're there. Number one. The big one. The song that has colored my world more than any other over the last decade. Yeah, it's a simple love song by a normally fairly morose group, but it's also one of the most amazing things I've ever heard.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (21-40)

40: Bad Religion - The Empire Strikes First - I celebrate Bad Religion's entire discography, even their less stellar recent efforts. This album was a complete return to form for them, IMHO, and I can sing this entire song (and Los Angeles is Burning) by heart with no accompaniment.

39: Keane - Bend & Break - Oh, how I love Keane. Particularly this song. The multiple beautiful layers of sound fill the entire spectrum without becoming noisy or overwhelming.

38: Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous - For a modern emo-ish grunge-ish rock band, Breaking Benjamin is completely enjoyable to me. There aren't too many bands who can combine melodic singing with growling quite as well as they can. Plus, Ben Burnley is totally sexy in a non-rock star type of way.

37: Badly Drawn Boy - Pissing in the Wind - This song came out right around the time I was job searching, and quickly became my go-to soundtrack for commuting to interviews. To this day, I have to listen to it before I submit a resume or have a phone interview. It's tradition.

36: Queens of the Stone Age - Go With the Flow - "I want something new to die for, to make it beautiful to live..." Quite honestly, I saw QOTSA live opening for the Chili Peppers several years ago, and I wasn't impressed. I still don't like most of their music, and very well may have overlooked this song completely, had I not ended up singing it repeatedly in Rock Band. The lyrics are just awesome!

35: Manchester Orchestra - I Can Feel a Hot One - Manchester Orchestra's more acoustic style tracks are right up my alley, especially this one. Their harder stuff, on the other hand, is almost guaranteed to make me cringe. Take that for what you will.

34: Arcade Fire - Intervention - Again, I had a really hard time picking an Arcade Fire song, because their entire catalog is incredible. Someday, I will learn to play the hurdy gurdy.

33: Matthew Good - Weapon - Matthew Good is another artist who has been almost completely overlooked by the mainstream, with an excellent variety of songs that should have been huge. What is it with Canadian music? (Again, I found a Supernatural video for the song, so I had to pimp my Jared and Jensen again.  *swoon*)

32: Ben Kweller - Penny on the Train Tracks - If I had my way, Ben Kweller would live in my basement, in a very luxurious silken cage, ready to perform (musically, you sickos) for me at will. He manages to be both mellow and upbeat at the same time, and I can appreciate that. Bonus points for having his real-life grandma star in the video.

31: Butterfly Boucher - Another White Dash - "I got a heart full of rubber bands that keep getting caught on things..." I really can't find enough good things to say about BB, who, incidentally, I think is the only Australian artist to make my list.

30: The Transplants - Diamonds & Guns - Do I really need to count all the ways in which this song rules? Like, really? (Beside the fact that I kinda have a major little thing for Tim Armstrong...)

29: White Lies - Farewell to the Fairground - White Lies is definitely one of my favorite new bands of the year. I love their darker, yet not oppressive sound. I almost jumped out of my chair in surprise when the Vampire Diaries started to feature their songs during episodes. (Especially since they had already included Placebo in a previous episode. How can such a cheesy show actually feature artists I love?)

28: Milow - You Don't Know Me - I don't listen to much music from Belgium, but Milow totally works for me. I was drawn in by his cover of Ayo Technology, which is absolutely amazing, but I stayed around for his original work.

27: Band of Skulls - Fires - I've been going on and on about Band of Skulls for months and months now, even more so after seeing them live. I Know What I Am has been exploited almost as much as Percussion Gun (White Rabbits), but it's totally deserving. When pimping them online to a friend, she was asking me to try to describe their style, and I was at a loss. The best I could come up with was kinda-psychadelic-kinda-rock-kinda-pop-with-a-bit-of-funk-thrown-in. She listened to a few songs, and succinctly described it as "hippie rock". That works.

26: Pendulum - Propane Nightmares - When this song first started getting popular, and people who had never listened to Pendulum before started gushing about it, I have to admit that I got a bit cross, because they have SO much awesome material, and it's really not a very typical Pendulum song, after all. Once I got over the initial grumpiness, I had to admit that even as a Pendulum fan, it was totally worth the gushing.

25: Amanda Palmer - Ampersand - Amanda Palmer very well may be my soul mate. I love her work with the Dresden Dolls, I love her solo work, I think I just love her. This song, in particular, suits me nicely. I've never been a fan of changing who I am to suit a partner. Like Alanis, I believe that one and one is still two. THE LYRICS in this song should be engraved on a national monument, as far as I'm concerned.

24: Phoenix - Sometimes in the Fall - Have you ever had an artist that you really like be completely overlooked by the world for a long time, and then discreetly release a new album, have that album become a major success, start being played in commercials, and eventually have fricking Wal-Mart ready to bet the farm on them, but yet have their older, perfectly wonderful albums still be completely forgotten about? Well, I have, and that band is Phoenix.

23: Death Cab for Cutie - Your New Twin Sized Bed - Even though I've been lucky enough to be successful at the relationship game, I can still appreciate the plight of so many of my friends, who despite being fantastic people just can't seem to find love. This song describes their plight perfectly.

22: The Decemberists - We Both Go Down Together - I want to bear Colin Maloy's musical children. 'Nuff said.

21: Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Think I Want to Die - "Think I wanna die if you don’t stay, drop dead in place, you can forget it. Carry a torch for days, I’m gonna let it burn..." SSLYBY is just so darn much FUN, there's no way I could deny them a fairly prominent spot on my list. Their lyrics are generally quite enjoyably tongue in cheek, and also extremely clever. I fully expect to see them touring with Vampire Weekend someday in the (hopefully) not-so-distant future.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (41-60)

60: Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Everybody's Better - The Bosstones will always hold a special place in my heart. I haven't appreciated their newer works as much as their earlier stuff, but this song still makes the cut.

59: Does It Offend You, Yeah - Dawn of the Dead - If New Order was born today, in an alternative universe, I imagine that they would sound a lot like DIOYY. Back in my wee days, I was a huge fan of new wave/synthpop bands like New Order, the Pet Shop Boys, Information Society, etc. (Who am I kidding? I still love all of those bands.) It warms my soul to find new artists who are able to blend newer influences with the more traditional styles. DIOYY fits that bill.

58: Postal Service - Brand New Colony - Honestly, I like Some Great Heights, I do. I just don't LOVE it. This song, however, I adore. I think it's the old-school Nintendo style beeps that get me, even though that particular feature is probably a deal breaker for a lot of folks.

57: Dredg - Bug Eyes - "We have been trimmed down like hedges,and told just to sit, and wilt, and spit at each other from a distance..." I love Gavin's voice, and the drumming in this song is guaranteed to make me tap my toes and crave it's inclusion in Rock Band. Add in the perfect use of minimalistic piano accompaniment, and it becomes a complete keeper for me.

56: The Editors - Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors - In my dreams, Tom Smith and Ian Curtis are singing duets in an empty candlelit cathedral. As an added "ribbed for her pleasure", check out this gorgeous acoustic version.

55: Outkast - Hey Ya! - I despise every Outkast song I've ever heard, except this one. No matter how much Todd scowls at me whenever it starts playing from my iPod, I will always turn the volume up to earsplitting levels and bop along with full enthusiasm.

54: Teddybears - Yours to Keep - Unless I'm forgetting about something, this is the last entry from Sweden on my list. Teddybears, commonly referred to as Teddybears STHLM, have an amazing variety of sounds, and I appreciate most of them. This song, in particular, makes me happy. Note that there are two different versions out there, the original wiht vocals by Paola, and this version, featuring Neneh Cherry. I like them both, but Neneh's voice is far superior, so this one gets the nod.

53: Kelis - Milkshake - This song would be very high on my guilty pleasures list, if I were inclined to feel ashamed of my musical taste (FYI, I also listen to Aqua, New Kids on the Block, LFO's Summer Girls, Mambo No. 5, and a ton of other stuff that probably makes you cringe). This is my naughty girl song for the list. If I were going back a few years farther, it would be replaced, at a much higher ranking, with Salt N' Pepa's Shoop, and if I from the 80's, Janet Jackson's Nasty, at a much lower level.

52: Jack Peñate - Run For Your Life - I don't even know how to describe Jack. I really don't. I don't know why I like him, but I'm assuming it's because he's so darn much FUN.

51: Bon Iver - Skinny Love - Wisconsin is generally a really crappy place for music. I mean, REALLY crappy. When I lived in Michigan, at least there was always Motown to hold up as a state trophy, but aside from the Violent Femmes and a few other pretty decent acts, there isn't much of anything. Les Paul, but he's known more for his guitars than his actual playing. If you like super-mellow acoustic grooves, Bon Iver is a glass of cool water. If not, then move along.  Bon Iver is a nice cap in Wisconsin's feather.  Strike that, reverse it.

50: Glasvegas - Flowers & Football Tops - I was kind of surprised that Glasvegas ended up ranked so low on my list, because I adore them with every cell in my body. I guess the band as a whole is just more incredible than any individual song. And this song? It gets mega kudos for throwing in an excerpt of You Are My Sunshine, and doubly so for making it so freaking depressing.

49: Mat Kearney - In the Middle - I was fortunate enough to see Mat Kearney live (opening for the Fray) before his debut album was released. His combination of excellent pop sensibilities and a wee bit of rap, light enough that even my mom appreciates it, works nicely for me. The lyrics in this song are perfect for anyone who has ever put on a brave face and given the world their best shot, despite the butterflies and feelings of inadequacy roiling around in his/her tummy.

48: The Very Best (Feat. Ezra Koenig) - Warm Heart of Africa - I got this mp3 from one of my music blogs back in probably April or May of this year, and was devastated when I found out that the full album wasn't out yet. Back in the 80's, Graceland gave me a very heavy appreciation for African influenced music, which continues to this day. Whenever I hear this song, I smile and crave an umbrella drink and some hot weather. I hope you do, too.

47: Stereophonics - Maybe Tomorrow - "I want a breeze and an open mind, I want to swim in the ocean, want to take my time for me, all me..." I often look at my life and wonder how I ended up here. Is this really all that's out there? Am I destined to keep running on this treadmill forever, never going anywhere or accomplishing anything that matters? This song reminds me that I'm not alone, and that change could be right around the corner. Maybe tomorrow I will find my way home. I hope so...

46: Scarface - Burn - Scarface is by far my favorite living rapper. Still, I have to say that most of his newer works have been kind of underwhelming. This song, however, is a major exception.

45: Shakira - Objection - Oh, Shakira. How I love you, from your strong, beautiful voice to your tantalizing hips and your beautiful eyes. If I were a man, I'd marry you, as long as you don't release any more crap like Underneath Your Clothes, or the entirety of your latest album.

44: We Were Promised Jetpacks - Roll Up Your Sleeves - WWPJ is definitely one of my favorite new bands of this year. I had a hard time picking which of their songs to include, because again, I love all of them. This one survived my coin toss simply because it was fricking freezing outside when I finally had to decide.

43: System of a Down - Toxicity - I've been a SOAD fan since not long after they released their eponymous debut album. I think it's the blend between the harmonic and chaotic, combined with the completely different vocal styles of Serj and Daron that make these guys so special to me. Of course, I also celebrate the two solo spinoff projects (Serj solo and Daron and John's Scars on Broadway), but nothing compares to the original.

42: Cass McCombs - Dreams Come True Girl - One of my sappy, old person musical indulgences is the Everly Brothers. This particular song, could almost be dropped into one of their albums and fit perfectly.

41: Brendan Benson - I'm Easy - I've been listening to Brendan Benson for ages. Absolute ages. When The Raconteurs came out, and I learned that he was associate with them, I was heartbroken. Color me SOOOO not impressed. Still, his solo work shows a more or less complete different side of him, and I'll treasure that side for always.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (61-80)

80: Raveonettes - Aly Walk With Me - I have no clue how the Raveonettes manage to make distortion sound so lovely, but this song makes me want to turn on my non-existent blacklights, light some incense, and just chill out.

79: Trik Turner - Friends and Family - Ah, Trik Turner...talk about a one hit wonder. I have a hard time believing that the rest of their music sounds so very similar, yet pretty much sucks (in my opinion). Still, this song rules.

78: David Usher - Black Black Heart - If you know me, you've probably heard my swooning over David Usher at one point or twelve. His voice is like butter.

77: Robbie Williams - Feel - I like Robbie Williams. A lot. This song, to me, displays his true vocal range a lot more than most of his other popular works.

76: Saves the Day - At Your Funeral - On the whole, Saves the Day doesn't really float my boat, but there's something about the huge contrast between the lyrical content and the upbeat tempo of this song that just flat does it for me.

75: CAKE - Comfort Eagle - Have I ever mentioned how much I adore CAKE? There's very little they touch that I don't appreciate.

74: Jem - Come on Closer - When I was a wee kitty, I loved watching Jem & the Holograms. It's therefore quite fitting that I should love a real musician with the same name, isn't it? This song is just so smooth and sexy, I can't get enough!

73: P.O.S. - De La Souls - I have no clue how Minneapolis managed to become such a mecca for new rap, because seriously? Minneapolis really kinda sucks. I just love his rhyme style, and in this case, the understated, almost classically inspired beat compliments it nicely. This song is another stellar example to me of the fact that rap doesn't HAVE to be about bitches and bling to be good.

72: Covenant - We Stand Alone - Ahh, yet another entry from the lovely country of Sweden, bringing me up to three, out of four entries on my list. Who woulda thunk it? Covenant blends synthpop and goth influences perfectly for my likes, and being as I'm a big fan of both genres, it's like peanut butter to my jelly.

71: Faithless - I Want More Pt. 2 - With my knees being as bad as they are, and with being married and having no life, I don't get to go out dancing very much anymore. It's unfortunate, because I'd love nothing more than to spend an evening in a crowd of sweaty bodies, dancing to their entire discography.

70: Depeche Mode - Precious - Most of DM's more recent music has been fairly lackluster to me. I didn't really like much of anything off the newest album, but Playing the Angel was great from start to finish. This is probably the cheesiest song on the album, but it's also my favorite, so I guess I'm reaffirming my love for cheese. (Even though it contains one of my lyrical pet peeves, of course. I get quite annoyed by the use of "things" in lyrics. "There were plants and birds and rocks and things", "Cars break down and people break down and other things break down too"? Come on, can you jerks really not find any other specific nouns to get your point across?) Still, I'll overlook it for this song, because it rocks, otherwise.

69: Babyshambles - Delivery - I don't know what it is about this song that I like so much, but I'm guessing it's probably the guitar hook. It certainly isn't the vocals, because Pete's singing is almost as unintelligible as Kurt Cobain's was.

68: Amy McDonald - Poison Prince - I am a total whore for Scottish accents. Add in an insanely beautiful girl with an insanely beautiful voice, and I'm head over heels.

67: Hot Action Cop - Fever for the Flava - This is me we're talking about. Of course I love this song, and a video full of phallic symbols? I'm sooo there. Of course everyone else hates it. That's life.

66: Leonard Cohen - A Thousand Kisses Deep - If I have to explain to you why Leonard Cohen is my hero, and why this song is wonderful, you just don't get it, and probably never will.

65: Aaliyah - Try Again - I've been a fan of Aaliyah since her debut album came out back in 1994. Her voice was so strong and mature for a 15 year old, I was instantly riveted. It saddens me so much that her live was cut so short, when she had so much more to offer the world.

64: Manic Street Preachers - To Repel Ghosts - Of course the Preachers had to have an entry on this list!

63: The Perishers - Sway - "I’ve always been a dreamer, I've had my head among the clouds. Now that I’m coming down, won’t you be my solid ground?" Oh, how I love the Perishers, and oh, how I love Sarah McLachlan for introducing me to them! And shoot, another Swedish entry. I guess that means that I have five, total, on my list.

62: MGMT - Time to Pretend - I could spend days listening to nothing but MGMT and never get sick of it.

61: Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple - Hey, purple is my favorite color! Gogol Bordello is just so darn much fun, I don't know how anyone could NOT like them.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (81-100)

100: Gorillaz - Dare - I had a really hard time picking a Gorillaz song, but in the end, I think this one is the most fun, so it won.

99: New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club is far too much fun to leave off a list like this. This song (and most of their other stuff, too) is fresh, hip, and guaranteed to get stuck in my head.

98: Charlie Robison - Good Times - I had a friend several years ago who was REALLY into Charlie. I wasn't impressed, in the beginning, but over time I grew to appreciate him. This song was one of our aimless driving around theme songs, until he went and got himself hitched to a girl who hates me (surprise, surprise) and pretty much fell off the face of the earth.

97: White Rabbits - Percussion Gun - I don't think it's possible to have missed this song, since it was on pretty much every sampler album that came my way this year, but it's still incredible, and oh, how I wish I had been able to see them live when they were in town. The rest of their album isn't quite as catchy, but it's still quite solid.

96: Mindless Self Indulgence - Never Wanted to Dance - I will pretty much guarantee that most of you will hate this song. Jimmy Urine's voice makes my husband want to gouge his ears out with a rusty rubber spork, (and revoke my music playing privileges) but I love, love, LOVE MSI. And it's my list, not yours. :P

95: Tom McRae - Stronger than Dirt - Yeah, this song is quite mellow. It's still complex enough, and fits with my depressive moods quite well.  This particular song almost reminds me of Coldplay, as a matter of fact.

94: Grandaddy - Elevate Myself - Grandaddy isn't for everyone, especially people who are easily bored, because it IS a bit monotonous, but seriously, this song is perfect for cleaning to.

93: Old 97's - Dance With Me - I like the Old 97's. I don't LOVE them, but I like them enough to have a couple of their albums. This song, even if I'd never watched the hilarious video (hey, I OWN that Frack Me shirt, and my car's name is Caprica), I still would have loved this song. It makes me want to become best friends with a choreographer and have him/her create a special dance for me, based on this song. For reals...

92: Lifehouse - Breathing - I had a really hard time picking a Lifehouse song, because pretty much everything they touch is excellent. I can't really say that this is my favorite of their songs, but it IS the one that is most likely to randomly pop into my head at inopportune times, so that counts for something. I adore Jason Wade's voice, and they sound just as good live as they do in the studio.

91: Rehab - It Don't Matter - Again, Rehab is definitely not for everyone. They have so many different sounds, depending on the song you listen to, but I decided that this one was a nice enough mix to reflect their style a bit.

90: Caesars - Paper Tigers - "we all think that we're so unique, such special freaks". This song won over It's Not the Fall that Hurts simply because I'm in love with that particular line. More mellow than most Caesars songs, but I still love it.

89: VAST - Sunday I'll Be Gone - Oh, VAST, how I adore you. If you're not listening to VAST, I'm not sure that I can continue being friends with you. Seriously.

89: Matisyahu - Chop 'Em Down - I adore reggae, and Matisyahu's take on the genre, combining it with some of the traditional Jewish styles, is fresh, different, and VERY appealing to me. Plus, he's incredible live. Seriously. I don't know if he still is, but for a long time he was giving away downloads of one of his last Milwaukee shows on his website. Good stuff.

88: Rolling Stones - Laugh I Nearly Died - I'm far from the biggest Stones fan, but I adore this song (and most of the songs off a Bigger Bang, actually). I can't tell you how many times I've found myself wandering down a long hallway somewhere, mumbling "Been traveling far and wide, wondering who's gonna be my guide." And since I found a Supernatural video for it, of course I had to use it, because Jared and Jensen are the best eye candy in the world.

87: Incubus - I Miss You - Incubus has a lot of awesome songs. Unfortunately, they also have a lot of utter crap. I'd like to think that this song falls into the former category.

86: Jamie T. - If You Got the Money - This song just always makes me giggle. Repeatedly. While singing along. It's a shame that his new album was so lame, but whatever.

85: Pilot Speed - Barely Listening - Hey, just for Marty and Trey, another song with a fairly slow build! I still haven't been able to decide whether the lyrics in this are meant to be religious, anti-religious, or neither, but regardless, they're dripping with despair. And despair, my friends, is my cup of tea.

84: Michael Franti & Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You) - I never listen to the radio. Like, ever. So, I was really surprised when I got into my mom's car a few weeks ago and heard this playing. Obviously, it managed to reach the mainstream. Which is good, because it's a killer track, and great for bopping around the house in a giddy, drunken haze, dancing Tom Cruise style in your socks.

83: Jason Mraz - Wordplay - I don't care what anyone says, Jason Mraz is awesome. Back before he was very popular, he filmed the video for The Remedy (I Won't Worry) at my favorite concert venue here in Milwaukee. Admission to the event was free, and I was planning to go, but I got busy. Dumb move on my part.

82: Vertical Horizon - Send it Up - I've seen VH live twice now, and I'm more impressed every time I do. They're very solid, musically, and awesome guys, too.

81: Warren Zevon - Keep Me in Your Heart - This song is so hauntingly beautiful to me, I get goosebumps whenever I hear it. Just knowing that he wrote it fully aware that his time was almost up makes it just that much more special to me. He never achieved the same level of fame and respect as some of his cohorts, but to me, he'll always be a king.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (101-110)

You know, after looking at this particular installment of my list, I find it a bit ironic that some of these are combined into one post, but I never said that I made sense...

110: Tenacious D - Wonderboy - Okay, you can roll your eyes at me all you like for this one, but I freaking love this song. It's just so much darn FUN!

109: Ray Lamontagne - Trouble - Ray's voice just sends shivers down my spine.

108: Anna Nalick - Paper Bag - Even if your life isn't what you want it to be, you need to bide your time until you get your chance to shine. Keep your chin up, and someday, you'll be the one on top.

107: E-Type - Paradise - Look, it's entry #2 from Sweden! I have to confess that I have a couple of Swedish friends who laughed at me horribly for liking E-Type,because according to one of them "He's like our equivalent of the Backstreet Boys". I don't care. It's cheesy, but I love me some good dancing music, and he works. Plus, I love Nana Hedin's voice.

106: Damien Rice - 9 Crimes - I'm sure I don't need to gush about how awesome Damien is, right? This is one of my favorite songs to play on the piano, so naturally, it makes the list.

105: Black Lab - Remember - The only reason I've ever been able to come up with to explain the fact that Black Lab isn't a household name is their somewhat sporadic release schedule. Still, considering that they release all of their albums themselves, without the benefit (or hindrance) of a major label, they're still doing peachy.

104: Timbaland feat. Sebastian & Attitude - Kill Yourself - I generally despise modern rap and hip hop. Seriously, it's almost unlikely that I'll even bother TRYING most of it because, really? It just makes me feel old. One of my friends who is familiar with my taste in rap (gimme old school Dre, 2Pac, Eazy-E, and Scarface anyday) suggested that I give Timbaland's collaborations a try. Boy, am I glad that I did!

103: Matt Nathanson - Lucky Boy - "You're so glorious,a waste of time; You're the safety in lying; You are radiator heat,you're the winter blankets sleep; You're the excuse that I use when I want to stop trying; And start waiting for the sky to fall" *swoon*

102: Billie Myers - Where Romeo Never Dies - "You're regrettably inclined to my dangerously safe side" Now, tell me that's not an awesome line! If I were king, I'd require Billie Myers and Aimee Mann to sing me a duet everyday. Since I'm not king, I can only hope that they someday decide to record one, anyway.

101: Fort Minor - Right Now - When they first came out, I was a pretty big Linkin Park fan. Now, I can hardly bear to listen to them at all. I think I just outgrew Chester's voice, to be honest. When I heard about Mike Shinoda's side project, I was skeptically optimistic about the end results. What emerged was one of my favorite new driving albums, ever. It's a beautiful blend of nice beats, good rhymes, and a million extra little sound scapes thrown in to catch your attention.

A Decade of Aural Orgasms (111-120)

I've always been big on lists. Sadly, for the last many years, these lists have mostly been of the "to do" variety. I've also always been big on music. It's pretty darn rare for me to NOT be listening to music at any given point in time. So, when my very good friend Trey (who has pretty good taste in tunes, for the most part) announced that he was doing a series of blog posts detailing his picks for his top 100 songs of the last decade, naturally I perked up and took notice. It got me to thinking, and wondering if I'd be able to do the same.

During my lunch break at work one day, I sat down and started making a list off the top of my head out of idle curiosity. That list quickly snowballed until I had a total of 223 songs, which I managed (with a lot of painful effort) to pare down to 120 songs. I just couldn't bring myself to cut any more. (Intelligent people would point out that all I'd have to do would be to ignore the bottom 20 from my list, but I never claimed to be intelligent, so I'm going to ignore that suggestion.) I should also mention that while I did my best to ensure that my entries were from 1999 or later, it's possible that I missed the boat on a couple. If you notice errors, I'd love to hear about them.

I'd love to hear what you think...whether it be suggesting a similar artist to one on my list, to insisting that I'm insane for highlighting a particular song or artist, or even to patting me on the back and proclaiming me your musical soulmate. (Okay, so the last idea is rather unlikely, but hey, I'll throw it out there, anyway.) Commenters who include a way to be contacted will receive a bonus prize via email. Otherwise, you get nothing. You lose. GOOD DAY, SIR!

Without further ado, here's my list:

120: Mustard Plug - Someday Right Now - Mustard Plug, hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan, happens to be the band I've seen live more than any other. It's not necessarily deep music, but it's fun.

119: M83 - We Own the Sky - The complexity of M83's music without becoming overwhelming astounds me. Every single time I listen to them, I appreciate a different facet.

118: O.A.R. - Wonderful Day - Oh, how I adore O.A.R.! In terms of "can't be mopey while listening to this" music, they are the modern version of Bob Marley for me.

117: Blue October - HRSA - If I had made this list a few years ago, I'm willing to guarantee that this song would be much higher on my list. To me, this song speaks volumes about being defiant in the face of adversity.

116: Classified - No Mistakes" - Made some mistakes and I'll probably make more, just how it happens when you're try to go forward..." This song just has a nice, mellow groove, with a good message. Nobody's perfect, and stressing over the past really doesn't do a lick of good.

115: Interpol - Take You on a Cruise - Of the new era of post-punk-gothish bands that have been entering the scene lately, Interpol is probably my favorite, followed closely by She Wants Revenge. (I will also mention that the last two lines in this song now makes me think of the aforementioned Trey, and his Russian non-mail order non-bride.)

114: Kent - Kevlar Soul - Welcome to the first of three (I think) Swedish entries on my list! I like most of their songs (and actually, I prefer this one in Swedish), but this one holds a special place in my heart, and I don't know why. It just flows so nicely, I guess.

113: Fujiya & Miyagi - Transparent Things - Ahhh, Fujiya & Miyagi! Simple, groovy, and good for soothing my savage beast!

112: Happy Mondays - Jellybean - I have to admit that I was a little bit underwhelmed by the new album as a whole, but after such a long break, that's probably to be expected. Seeing this song live was enough to make me wish that all of my Mondays were happy, and for that, it deserves a spot on my list.

111: Josh Ritter - Other Side - Those of you who know me well know that I'm a huge Leonard Cohen song, and Josh Ritter's voice reminds me so much of him that I was guaranteed to be a huge fan. To me, this song is about longing for something else, something more than what you have, but not necessarily knowing what you're looking for. That's pretty much the story of my life. I hope that someday, we both find whatever it is...
To be continued...